Why I Stopped Asking If I Measure Up

By Beth Demme

Hard to Look in the Mirror @BethDemme 

Do you ever find it hard to look in the mirror and really look at yourself?

It makes sense to me that it’s hard to face our mistakes and confront the worst parts of ourselves. Acknowledging those aspects of our lives can be painful.

But, why is it hard to believe the good stuff about ourselves?

I don’t know about you, but I tend to dismantle the positive piece by piece until there’s nothing left of it, while blindly accepting the negative.

Maybe you’ve experienced this in receiving (or offering) compliments.The last time someone complimented me on an outfit I was wearing, I responded all wrong. Instead of saying, “thank you” I brushed the compliment off by explaining I’d found the dress on sale. I didn’t feel worthy of the compliment because, after all, I had only paid $7!

If I can’t even accept a compliment about a piece of cheap clothing, how will I ever accept the truth about a core issue — my self-worth and lovability?

How do I answer this question: Do I really believe I measure up?

Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Sometimes both at the same time (which is a confusing place to be).

I want to give myself credit for my accomplishments but, at the same time, I wonder if I’ve actually accomplished anything.

Are you like me? Do you secretly think you could calculate how well you “measure up” if you could figure out the mathematical value of your accomplishments? Maybe you’ve gone so far as to try to apply the new Common Core math methods to come up with an answer. (If so, you have officially gone too far. Ain’t nobody got time for that.)

Here’s what I’ve come to wonder — are we asking ourselves the right question?

Maybe my accomplishments really don’t have anything to do with whether or not I am lovable.

Recently, I watched women react tearfully as the truth of their inherent lovability and self-worth came to light.

We were at the Be Loved Women’s Conference in León, Nicaragua. It was the end of the second day. The women had received almost twelve hours of training under the (literal and metaphorical) Be Loved banner.

Under the banner

We were well into the Conference and it was time for the women apply the truth directly to themselves. We gave each woman a little silver compact mirror with a heart on it. The women came up one by one, looked at themselves in their compact mirror and heard these words —

God knows you. He knows your name. God made you intentionally and with a purpose. He knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb.

You are a marvelous work.

God made you in his own image. You are God’s precious daughter. You, my friend, are so loved by God that He gave his only begotten son for you.

(Isaiah 43:1; Jeremiah 1:5; Psalm 139:14; Genesis 1:27; 1 John 3:2; John 3:16)

It was a beautiful experience. The truth of these words resonated in their souls. Many of the women wept quietly at hearing the truth spoken about them.

We hugged each other and cried together, embracing the truth as we embraced each other.

Beth Mirror ActivityWomen After Mirror Activity.jpg

I need to hear these truths, don’t you?

Sometimes it’s hard to look in the mirror and see who I am instead of thinking about what I have (or haven’t) accomplished. But I need to do it anyway. I need to look into my own eyes and hear the truth: God knows my name. God thinks I am a marvelous work, made in his image. I am God’s precious child.

I don’t need to know the value of my accomplishments because that isn’t how God measures me. I don’t need modern math or old-school math to figure out whether I’m worthy. I only have to go as far as a few bible verses to be assured I am, in fact, lovable.

What about you? Have you engaged in mental mathematics to calculate your worth to God? Are you convinced you are lovable? I’d love to hear your story via e-mail, Twitter, or Facebook.

If you need a little encouragement, print this out and put it on your mirror or save it as the wallpaper on your phone. (Click on the image to see a full-size version.)

God Knows My Name iPhone

 This originally appeared on www.bethdemme.com under the title, “Why It’s Hard to Look in the Mirror.”

 

 

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments I deem offensive or off-topic.

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