not always right beth demme

As A Mom I’m No Olympian

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I have a confession: I’m not an Olympian. Not as a mom or in any other way, really. I have occasionally met parents who believe they can train like Olympians. Do you know these people? They try to read, research, plan, and pray their way to the gold medal platform. Usually, these folks have an infant or are expecting their …

Beth Demme There is More to Come

Your Story Isn’t Finished

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We have a tradition in our family, our own catchphrase. In our home videos we never say, “The End.” Instead, we always say “More to Come.”   I don’t remember when it started, but it’s now ingrained in all of us. In fact, when the kids want me to stop-it-already-with-the-video-camera they’ll smile and, sort of sarcastically, say “more to come, …

Being Right is the Wrong Goal @BethDemme

Being Right Is the Wrong Goal

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A few years ago, my husband and I moved into our dream home. We spent about three years working with professionals to design and build it. We oversaw every detail, even deciding where each outlet and light switch would sit. It’s the kind of experience that creates conflict and frustration for many couples. The sheer number of decisions required can …

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Today Matters More Than Tomorrow

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There we were, cuddled up in the big rocking recliner. I held my sweet baby as he sucked on his thumb and his eyelids grew heavy. I felt the weight and warmth of him against my arms. I sang to him and studied his face. He was eleven months old and we had been home from Russia for only a …

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Stop Honking, You Can’t See The Whole Street

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Honk. HONK. Honnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnk. I was pumping gas when I heard the horn. On the adjacent street a woman in a small luxury car was honking at the big sport utility vehicle in front of her. Using exaggerated gestures and wide eyes she yelled, “you CAN’T stop here!” As I watched her gestures and deciphered her words, I thought, “calm down …

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You Won’t Exist Forever

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You Won’t Exist Forever Do you ever get discouraged by the fact that your life isn’t bigger or more grand? Sometimes I find myself mistakenly thinking I can sort of defeat mortality if I can do something to be remembered. My father passed away recently and the grief I find myself wading through everyday makes my own mortality press in …

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Sharing Your Problem May Be Better Than Solving It

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Sharing Your Problem May Be Better Than Solving It As soon as I walked in, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, allowing the funky old-house smell to fill my pores. “I love the way your house smells,” I told my friend Becky. She stared at me like she was waiting for a punchline. I continued, “Really, I do.” Seeing …

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Are You the Problem?

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“If only!” I cried at my husband. “You say you support my ideas, but you don’t really want to help me.” I was frustrated with my husband over a project we were working on together — this blog, actually. Since my husband is a computer-programmer-genius who runs a tech company, I expected him to wave a magic wand and make …

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Is Pride Keeping You from Freedom?

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I don’t know about you, but when it comes to giving and receiving help, I tend to think, “‘tis better to give than to receive.” Accepting help sounds easy—who doesn’t want a lighter load, right? But the truth is, I’d rather be thought of as “competent” than “needy.” Wouldn’t you?

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Your Brokenness Matters

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“Sometimes I feel small and insignificant.” Susan’s eyes looked off at some point far beyond me. Her words made me feel sad, but I could definitely relate. My friend was head-over-heels in love with her children, but she was frustrated by her parenting mistakes. I recalled coming to terms with my own mommy anger. I remembered the angry outbursts that made me …