In Episode 43, Steph and I are joined by Jamie Kocur, author of My CCM Soundtracked Life: How I Became Disillusioned With the Music That Once Captivated Me. Jamie grew up a church-goer, but in her teens she became the kind of Christian who listened to only CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) and minimized her exposure to secular influences. She says she was “quietly judgmental” during that time. Working with the African Children’s Choir, she experienced a spontaneous, personal form of worship. When she returned to the US, the worship style that had captivated and sustained her, now felt empty. It felt like it was manufactured happiness, rather than sincere worship. Feeling disconnected in worship led her to question other things about her faith. Jamie has an honest conversation with Steph and me about what that journey was like and where she finds herself now. We talk about the lie that becoming a Christian guarantees instant happiness and only happiness. And we wonder out loud why Christians are so often defined by what they are against.